Kinda Stuck In The Middle
The other day I had a powerful experience with a practitioner of an ancient wisdom... I know, we all do it, right?
Initially, its affects were a mild combination of eagerness and hesitation. I processed it and like an echo, it’s power began to amplify. In the days after, and the follow up conversations I had with the practitioner, I found both extremes - eagerness to apply and hesitation to delve into my core - grow exponentially.
I got frustrated, fixated on the wrong things and maybe glossed over the important things.
I thougt ‘if I’m THIS, then why do I do THIS? If I genuinely belive THIS then why do I act like THIS?
Are we all this contradictory? Is it just me? Why do we often bounce around experiences - positive and negative - like a ping pong ball?
Then I received the best advice to guide me on my processing.
She simply said...
’Be kind to yourself as you delve’.
This conscious direction, to not judge myself, to be open to what I find, to not choose sides, opened up the wisdom like petals. I urge you, whether stuck in the middle of a moral dilemma, or torn between whether to go with the black shoes or the nude ones, be kind to yourself.
I have not ‘solved‘ my own interpretation of my powerful experience yet, but the way forward is inviting and intriguing. I’m not stuck... I’ve given myself permission to dwell there a while.